Impact Statement

December 10, 2021 will be the sentencing hearing.  There is an option to write a victim impact statement which can be read during the hearing or presented to the judge to be read for the record.  I usually have a lot to say but in this case my thoughts are all over the place. 

I know Christy was not the only victim of the crime.  My nieces, parents, little sister, our whole family, our friends and just so many people have been affected by his actions. I know this and my thoughts are jumbled. I cannot seem to seperate the actions that resulted in Christy's death and the impact they had on me from the actions not taken by authorities and how that impacted me.

It seems as though Christy's death the start of a fire that with the authorities lack of action spread the blaze into an emotional wildfire.  I have not mourned my sister.  I think of her everyday and when with her girls I think of her every second.  I have not processed her death as I have been mentally living everyday as it was on or around September 29, 2014. I replay the events surrounding the day Christy died to keep information fresh in my head so I didn't forget a single detail.  I did this incase I needed to testify or recall something when asked.  I wrote the events of the last time I saw Christy as well as the events of the day Christy died.  This has been information I have read and reread countless times to keep my memory fresh.  

In addition to my obsessive compulsion to recollect the events surrounding her death I have overall anxiety, panic and worry.  I get hyper focused on research and investigating Christy's death.  I have researched at all hours tracking acquaintances, contacts, and events that could in anyway be related to her death. 

Authorities asked throughout the 7 years if I knew where he got the drugs.  I have speculation but have known I need to justify my reasoning for authorities I have hyper focused on research.  

Friends post how they love True Crimes pod casts but I have been living it for 7 years.  I remember a kid in middle school who spoke of gangs while he flashed hand gestures and worn the appropriate colors etc.  I hadn't heard of gangs in the area since I worked at Showcase Cinemas when in high school.  Being the naive person I am... I commented how odd it was that 7 o'clock set everyone was wearing red bandanas and now at the 9 o'clock set everyone waiting in the lobby to go into the sold out auditorium had on a different color bandana from earlier.  At 16 that is the night I experience to a riot resulting in pepper spray with evacuation of the lobby.  Then as years went on 20 plus to be exact I was realizing the drug connections are still rooted in gangs.  If you thought those days were gone sorry but they are still here in our community and as violent, scary, and dangerous as ever.  I was making connections between gang members and people associated with my brother-in-law.  If that doesn't make you take the solicitation of murder count seriously add that to his comment of "maybe Christy can catch a stray bullet." Yes, these are the connections I have been filling my nights with researching throughout the night that also causes me to fear going to sleep at all.

Why was I doing this?  If I wasn't doing it who was? The authorities were not.  I cannot seem to seperate the trauma of lack of authorities actions from the fact my brother-in-law killed my sister... my Christina Ann... my Big Sister who has always been in my life and who I have used to plan how I would live my life.  Even as I type that sentence I can feel the disassociation from the words to my emotions.

How do you put together a statement of impact when it hasn't impacted yet?  When I think of him I think of his last text message to me.  

If you know me then you know the word "disappointed" is a trigger and hits me like a ton of bricks.  I have never liked the word and I have always done my best to avoid hearing it at all cost.  Trust is something earned.  It is always easier to lose it than it is to gain it.  He of course hit me with both in this message.  

Mind you this was just after my little sister was discharged with her first born. I having no children... this was a BIG deal. He wanted me to provide my little sister's address instead of allowing me to take my nieces.  He had been made aware of the Civil Case at this point and was angry.  "I disappointed him" and "He can't trust me." 

This was 2017, three years after Christy's death. I had been hiding criminal investigation, fighting with authorities for action, and overall feelings about him to his face for 3 years.  He had just lost trust... I had altered who I was to protect the case for Christy and her girls to protect them. In those 3 years I became mute when he was around, my attention to detail became hyper focused, I was on high alter all the time and yet he was living life.  

He knows what he did and yet he can say he is disappointed in me.  What about when I stood as her maid of honor and he spoke his vows to her? What about when I became Hailey's godmother and we all spoke of guiding her through her sacraments and the church? He has broken all 10 commandments! 

How does one figure out the impact when you have known this person more than half their life?  Then add to it they took someone so close, so loved, and the hurt has... well, it has no words. There is no way to articulate the pain especially when it is guarded behind years of fighting and protecting everything related to it.

I don't know how to distinguish between the trauma, PTSD, anxiety, rational and irrational thoughts to articulate how his actions have impacted me personally.  My words won't impact him.  He would have to care for that to happen.  

I still have no idea what my statement of impact will say... I may not even submit one at all.  Simply because his impact on me is so great and yet my impact on him is so insignificant.

aMAYSing Thoughts.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful and many would say this year my family has so much to be thankful for...

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday with a close second being Christmas.  We lived in 5 different states growing up and my Grandma/Grandpa Hooper would come from Michigan to see us on Thanksgiving.  I remember them in North Carolina and Missouri.  They would bring Christmas with them so we had a double holiday when they would visit.  We were only able to have Christmas at a special time because my Grandma Hooper was friends with Santa.  Not many kids can say that.

Thanksgiving has always been family time. Even when I worked at the movie theater.  Since the theater was open 365 days a year holidays was a requirement.  My parents would come to watch a movie while I was working and then we would have dinner when I got out of work or before work if I wasn't lucky enough to have the opening shift.  My Grandpa Hooper cooked or my mom cooked or they both cooked... it did not matter it was always the same dinner and it was always aMAYSing.  Before I worked at the theater we would would have a new movie or rented movie to watch.  I remember one year was Independence Day and Grandpa was stuffed... he frowned because of his full belly but it was the first movie he didn't snore through.

When I got married I opted to cook.  I wanted my in-laws to share in a tradition I LOVE.   Also, I was practicing because I figured if I got the system worked out early when I had kids it would be less stressful.  I always plan ahead for my anxiety to help prevent panic attacks sometimes it works and then again sometimes it backfires.  I cooked all the main staples turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, rolls, green bean casserole, veggies and dip, and the fancy can ridged Oceanspray jellied cranberry sauce (my Grandpa Hooper's special recipe).  My family started going to Frankenmuth to meet my Grandma Hooper.  They would all come to my house for dessert.  It only took one year for me to realize my inability to say "NO" resulted in us have zero leftovers and my family along with my in laws had them.  I got to the point over the next 4-5 years that I was making 2 turkeys, and basically dinner for 30 even though only 13-14 would have dinner.

I was overwhelmed with making sure my tradition was what I wanted and expected I didn't have time to get all of it done.  I was working full time at the credit union and my assistant asked for the day before Thanksgiving so she could meal prep.  She was my moms age with the grandkids.  I always gave her the day off because let's face it I cannot say "NO".  I was getting home at 7:30 - 8 pm.  Then would begin my up well past midnight and awake by 5:30 am routine. 

Christy started doing a trade with me.  She would make the pumpkin pies and I would give her a gallon size ziplock of stuffing.  This was a Win for me... I make stuffing and do not eat it... at all.  I am not a fan but that didn't prevent me from making it every year.  I can't have Thanksgiving without it. 

I remember Thanksgiving 2009.  Christy was exhausted she had went to her in-laws where they didn't have "our" food so she was not a fan.  She asked if she could go upstairs to my room and I said sure.  Everyone was passing around baby Hailey and I realized Christy still wasn't down yet.  I went up to check on her and she had just finished pumping.  I had brought her a bottle water and we sat on my bed with the door closed hearing all the muffled commotion downstairs. 

Remembering it now and sitting their then we spoke about Grandma and Grandpa Hooper's house.  We recalled sharing an air mattress in the dining room and all the adults were watching television and telling us to roll over and go to sleep.  We laughed wondering how could they expect us to just sleep when if felt like we were I

In the middle of the room.  To be honest their house isnt that big so we quite literally were in the middle of everything.  

I asked her if she was ready to go back to reality and she said yes.  We went down to the 20 people all in my house visiting and chatting and had our favorite desserts. We were creating new memories although the old ones were never far from our minds.

I miss my Thanksgiving and what it used to be.  My husband's Grandma told me the last Thanksgiving I cooked that she wouldn't be there next year.  I will never forget looking at her and saying, "Stop that, of course you will."  Well, Grandma Hawkins was right she passed away that Labor Day weekend so she was not there for Thanksgiving.  My mother in-law had a really hard time and didn't want Thanksgiving.  I tried really hard to encourage her to come but we ended up at my parents who were not going to Frankenmuth that year and from then on it has seemed very random.  

When Christy died it really left me with emptiness for holidays especially Thanksgiving.  The girls spent those days with their fathers family.  Knowing how Christy felt about the food and wanting to get out of there as soon as she could to get to my house or our family made me miss her even more.  

This year we have a conviction but I still don't have Christy.  I just made stuffing for the first time since Grandma Hawkins passed and my whole house smells like Thanksgivings past.  If I close my eyes the smell can let my mind wander to giggling on an air mattress trying to be quiet, Grandpa Hooper snoring with a full belly and of course the burps to make more room for dessert, the years of panic to make things just right for my in-laws, Grandma Hawkins kicking me out of the kitchen so she could do the dishes, and sitting upstairs for a quiet moment with my big sister.  

I have the stuffing but I miss her pies. I am thankful and yet my heart hurts and the memories are sad.  Thanksgiving is a time for family and I really miss my traditions.  

Do not take for granted these moments with family cherish them and lock them away so you can hold on to them forever.

aMAYSing Thoughts

System is only a Theory

I rambled thoughts via emails throughout the past 7 years.  I did this in order to get these thoughts out of my head.   I would draft an email but not list a To: and so it would just end up in my drafts.  

The following is one of those Email Rambles regarding frustrations related to discovering the hierarchy of law enforcement, prosecutors office, and other government officials.

Why do people feel the need to take justice into their own hands?  It is because our governmental system is not a system, only a theory. There are no checks and balances and everything boils down to two things: the municipality jurisdiction having trained staff and the prosecutors office willing to try the case.  When both those things fail there is nothing and no one to call.

Please keep in mind I wrote this in the midst of frustration this was written sometime after December 2016 (my email regenerated the date when I clicked to open it) and the Prosecutor as well as Lead Investigating Officer who appeared in 7th Circuit Court to try the case are omitted from this frustration as they are the only two individuals who ACTUALLY did their jobs!  I appreciate them every moment. 

To Whom It May Concern, 

My sister, a beast-feeding mother of a 4 month old and a 4 year old, was found dead in her bed by her neighbor.  The neighbor was called to check on her by my brother-in-law. The law enforcement officer arrived on scene and after my sister's body was removed he was granted full access to the residence.   My mother was denied access prior to her body being removed due to it being a potential crime scene.  Within 48 hours, my parents went to speak with the detective and let him know that we believed my brother-in-law killed my sister. The detective stated there was nothing he could do until autopsy results had returned. The medical examiner on scene kept discussing natural causes but that did not make sense to my family as my sister was healthy and had no complications during her C-section four months prior.  The detective stated the autopsy would be returned in days unless they needed to run toxicology to determine cause of death.  Three weeks later the chief of police and detective called my parents into the office to inform me the cause of death was heroin toxicity and that it was ruled an accident.  

This further did not answer questions of natural causes and made it more clear she was killed via poisoning of heroin. The law enforcement officers did little to no work in the prior three weeks and therefore had little information as to my brother-in laws activities leading up to the day she died, September 29, 2014.  We obtained a copy of the autopsy which states numerous organ systems were "unremarkable" and "normal adult female."  No evidence of needle marks or bruising we believed he put it in something she ingested which further points to murder and less to accidental overdose.  It takes more heroin to feel the effect when ingested than it does when it is injected so users chose to inject in order to get their money's worth in hopes of having multiple highs per quality.

Law enforcement officers in the city were only doing work on her case when they found time. The chief disconnected the detective's extension because the chief didn't like to hear so much negativity in the mornings. The chief has never returned a phone call and when asked to forward the case to another authority such as the state police he would get defensive and reject the request.  In August 2016, the Michigan State Police department finally took over the case only for us to again not receive updates, know if the case is progressing, and we are left with no responses to phone messages or emails.  

The prosecutors office does not return any emails or phone calls. They tell us there are warrants written but not served and we keep getting told when we finally do hear something that we need to be patient.

My brother-in-law, since September 29, 2014, has been able to do exactly what he wants when he wants.  My sister was threatening to leave him prior to her death and take their two girls with her.  My sister found he was having extra-marital affairs with multiple women prior to her death.  He moved one of these known women into the home one week after my sister's funeral.  The four month old lived with my parents until her first birthday.  He wanted her returned to him once she was sleeping through the night and was no longer in need of a bottle.   My brother-in-law says he has moved on and requires his daughters to refer to his girlfriend as mom.  The now 7 year old has struggled with this because she misses her "mumma" and does what dad says to do in order to not be punished.  He states she is being disrespectful to not call her mom.  The now 2 year old knows who her mom is in pictures and recognizes her voice but must call someone else mom.  We were informed by my brother-in-law that we should be grateful she is willing to accept the girls as her own.  She has brought her 8 year old daughter and the girls are expected to call each other sisters.

My family has communicated with local authorities, state officials, elected representatives, and have been pointed in the same two directions to speak to the detective and/or the prosecutor's office.  It is a vicious circle that has no end.  There are no checks and balances. My nieces are living with a man we believed killed their mother and no authority will step in and protect them.  We are not the type that will let this go, we are a family of educated people who understand the difference between right and wrong, ethical and unethical, and no matter how you look at it this whole situation and how it has been handled is wrong and unethical. 

I have been told by the detective my brother-in-law has Rights.  What about my sister's Rights? Did she deserve to die at the hands of her husband? Does she deserve to have law enforcement and prosecutors type cast her as an addict when there is no evidence to support the stereotype? Do her daughters have a Right to be protected from the man who killed their mother? 

No one is willing to help, we haven't gone to the media in order to protect the children. We are fighting a fight no one can see.  Law enforcement and Prosecutors being able to dictate what they want to be considered a crime worth investigating and prosecuting.  

I understand why people take justice into their own hands. Not many would put on a fake smile and drive over to a house bought with their sister's life insurance money, bake Christmas cookies with their nieces, the man's girlfriend, her daughter and have that very same man be the person they know killed their older sister.  Then to finished with the cookies and simply leave that house without a single negative word spoken in order to not jeopardize the case no one in the criminal justice system (the theory) is willing to work on.  

If our system is but only a theory how do we expect people to not take justice into our own hands?

Regards,

Katrina Sharon

Please keep in mind this lack of checks and balances has not changed.  If you have a problem with an officer, go to their superior, but when you have a problem with the Chief... you can try to go to the Mayor, City Board, and City Manager but they simply refer you back to the Police Department.  That is a CIRCLE...

If you have a problem with a prosecutor, go to the County Prosecutor, but if your problem is with the County Prosecutor... you can go all the way up to the State Attorney General who communicates with all County level Prosecutors but they simply refer you back to the County Prosecutor... THAT is a CIRCLE...

Law Enforcement officials do not have to accept help offered by other jurisdictions it is THEIR choice to do so.  Therefore, when Michigan State Police offered to HELP Davison City Police Department the Chief simply declined.  Michigan State Police is not allowed to step in unless the jurisdiction grants permission.

When the Detective of DCPD testified with anger in his voice that the case was requested to be turned over in 2016 he said, "I was close, so of course I was upset."  Then followed it up with, "It was there but I just didn't know if it was there."  Referring to the status of the case being prepared to be presented to the prosecutors office.  He was close but didn't know if he was close... this isn't a rearview mirror where objects can appear closer than they are.  THIS IS MY SISTERS LIFE her CHILDRENS LIVES and it was more about DCPD's ego than anything having to do with justice or their JOBS.

We as a family literally pushed the investigation the whole way.  Did we push it in the wrong direction meaning did we point the finger at who we wanted verses who we didn't.  NO... we had Evidence coming at us all over the place.  People talking random conversations at Christmas parties, Web Searches, reviewing any information we could get our hands on.  If your jurisdiction hasn't had a homicide in over 50 years why are you stumbling your way through an investigation when literally it is the difference between Justice for a Lost Life, and protentional a Lifetime Prison Sentence for the accused.  

These Circles need fixing, this theory needs a working system, and I pray NO one else has to live through this horror.  (Although, looking at 20/20 and Dateline... there isn't an end in sight.)

aMAYSing Thoughts.

GoFundMe - Justice for Christy's Girls

 

Those not close to my family may not be aware of all the things we have done to fight for Justice for Christy.  I have seen comments from individuals wondering why there is a GoFundMe… well I hope this sheds a little light on why…

I discovered over the last 7 years that I cannot rely on all authorities to do their job or even have the training to do all that their job requires.  Through this process there is only one MSP Detective Sargent that I can say I trust as all the other detectives both MSP and DCPD who worked this case lost my trust years ago.  They lost my trust by not asking for help when needed, through ignoring our correspondences and an overall lack of action in the five years it took for an arrest.  From the beginning my family brainstormed, researched, and investigated as Christy’s death was not something we could comprehend.  Were we grieving NO we were alert, observant, and looking in constant communication noting everything... it was a need to figure out why it happened, how it happened... We knew Christy better than anyone else in the world and if we could not explain it then we needed answers.  When authorities ignored us, we simply continued to brainstorm, research, and investigate all while maintaining a relationship with the only other adult in the household the night she died.  We provided our information to authorities as we received it.  They took the information and filed it away for later.  Authorities labeled us as a nuisance.  We have heard comments from people over the years saying, “You have to just let it go,” or “You should just forget about it.”

Two and a half years into our frustration my mom was emailing yet again in the early morning as she could not sleep with all the thoughts on her mind.  The term “Wrongful Death” popped into her mind, and she looked it up.  She found we were months away from the statute of limitations and this may be the key to getting the Criminal Case to have momentum.   My parents self-funded a civil case in hopes of pushing the criminal case forward.  Think of it as is the Goldman's trial before OJ's criminal trial.  Thing is civil cases happen after criminal trials to use the evidence from the criminal trial, but we did not have that.  What we did have was all our research, brainstorming, and our own investigative materials.  The civil case which included attorney fees, court fees, paying for witness depositions, reports, and more.  We won the civil case which awarded us an uncollectable sum, but our goal was always Justice for Christy.  We were going to go public with the fact we had won the civil case and yet authorities never pressed charges.  We provided the prosecutor’s office with one last opportunity to review our information.  Interesting thing... soon after there was an arrest made. 

Now after the year of no jury trials due to Covid… We had a Criminal Trial.  I sat through all those days of full testimony.  It is sad to say but I did not hear information I did not already know.  The Medical Examiner testified that he was aware his office was missing pertinent information regarding this death during a deposition.  That deposition I sat through.  That deposition was the same one my parents paid for with my dad’s retirement money.  It is sad that I am grateful that he lost his job after over 25 years because that allowed access to his retirement account.  I have always heard “our tax dollars at work.”  Not with Christy’s case… Christy’s case was my parents hard earned money used to obtain Justice for their daughter.  They referred to my dad as Christy’s “Stepfather” in trial.  No!  I am sorry, Christy would have corrected that… he is her DAD and he will fight for any of his girls with everything he has.

Even though Civil Case is over and Criminal Case is over my parents continue to have court costs, but it is Probate Court for my nieces.  They are doing this to raise Christy’s girls as she would have wanted.  The current court ordered guardianship agreement is now 50/50 between mom and their other grandmother. This is an increase from the initial supervised visitation granted to mom.  The GoFundMe is to provide a little help to offset their expenses.  It will never replace what they have spent fighting for Christy and her girls, but it is something.  Their plans are to work until the youngest is eighteen which they will be in their seventies by then.  I hope this explains the reasons behind the GoFundMe.  No obligation to donate but if you consider donated or even sharing it, we appreciate it.

https://gofund.me/a3a7dea3

aMAYSing Thoughts

Day 1 - Post Conviction

So many thoughts are running through my head.  I am not one to keep quiet and usually have no problem speaking my mind or giving my opinion.  The last 7 years have changed that in many ways.  My circle became really small, and my introverted side had to take over.  Hiding my thoughts, feelings, investigating my sister’s death, and being silenced for so long causes one to be overwhelmed when you can finally speak openly.  The things I have learned since Christy died have made me see things in a different way.  My perspective has changed.  My voice was silenced but my thoughts continued to generate.  I have so much bottled up and so much I want to say and feel I NEED to say.

Throughout these 7 years I was silenced so I began writing emails to articulate my thoughts.  I needed to vent get the words out of my head, but I didn’t want them lost or never heard.  These thoughts have been saved to my Drafts over the years.  I was silenced but now my thoughts can be exposed. 

My little sister suggested a blog, so this is what it is.  My thoughts the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.  The things I have kept bottled up.  The experiences my family and I have experienced.  This is meant to be a safe place for me to express my opinion, my experiences, and my ideas as I have a LOT to say.  Take it or leave it but if you want to know what makes my family aMAYSing, the lengths we have gone for Justice, and everything in between.  Then know you can get that here.