This is often a phrase heard in court proceedings. Most often it is followed by an eye roll as being a ridiculous claim or blatantly obvious it exists.
When we were in our civil case pain and suffering was felt with the loss of my sister. To not see her face light up with a smile, hear her voice regardless of her emotion, and just her overall presents was felt very deeply.
From the moment we were informed of her death we were taking action. We did as law enforcement advised and then some to ensure we were on a path to hold her husband accountable and to protect her girls.
The four month old stayed with my parents until after her first birthday. My sister's husband willingly allowed this and opted to pick the baby up from day care a couple nights a week but drop her off before dinner time. He joked he was not interested in midnight feeding and managing her food source as my sister had a deep freeze full of breast milk.
I went to an attorney to figure out what I needed to do to ensure the girls safety and placement with me in the event he were arrested. When he discovered this fact he was livid. He made sure I was aware his feeling and he stated how, "Disappointed he was in me." As if that could even compare to my feelings regarding him killing my sister.
In order to create consistancy for the baby, I went to my parents house every single day after work and on weekends. I fed the baby dinner, had playtime, bath time, and I would put her to bed. The baby responded and established an equal bond with my parents and I.
This was noticeable when my parents went to Vegas and I took over the babies care until they returned. It went seamlessly and she had not issues. My sister's husband didn't even know my parents were gone.
After the baby's first birthday he realized he could use her for benefits as she was the only child that would qualify the house for WIC. We were still diligent in our pursuit of justice for my sister but at this point police opted to stall out on the case. Even with all the evidence obtained they simply kept the case Open/Active meaning they were not required to provide information via the Freedom of Information Act. You can have a case file Open/Active but that doesn't mean the are doing anything with it. It just sits on shelf.
The Detective told us when he gets information he files it. As if the binder he created was at all doing anything other than getting dusty. We fought to have multiple moves to get our case worked. It took the Civil Case where we were awarded an uncontrollable settlement of $2,000,000.00.
It was well known by all it was uncollectable. He already had spent the life insurance which totaled $130,000.00. He had finances everything leaving no equity.
Pain and Suffering is a phrase I am faced with everyday. The baby has not been parented and has spent her first 10 years bouncing from family member to family member. No matter how I try to instill consistancy it is rejected. She doesn't understand her anger regarding her mom's death who she doesn't have active memory of, her father and his girlfriends abuse while she was in their care, and spending the last five years bouncing around to caregivers.
Pain and Suffering is the pain she experiences trying to figure out her emotions and mood swings. She is not only at a hard age for kids in general but unless you experience her life you won't understand. Her uncontrollable outbursts are exhausting. I am exhausted.
I was asked today, if I am holding her actions against her as in holding a grudge?
My response was, "No, she didn't choose this any more than we all did. She didn't ask for the years of instability. Now that she is stable she is releasing all the pent up chaos she has been holding in. This is not her fault. I view this as the definition of Pain and Suffering based directly on law enforcement not proceeding with the case. If they had she would have had a very different situation. Maybe she wouldn't have bounce around at all. We will never know. I wish the Dectective could observe her behavior and u destiny that his lack of action 10 years ago created this Pain and Suffering today."
Holding law enforcement accountable doesn't exist but their actions have consequences even to the innocent and victims. All evidence used was obtained by law enforcement less than six month from her death. So tell me why it took our civil case to actually use the evidence and then basically say here this is what happened now do your job.
Again, my parents retirement is gone to pay for civil case. My Dad had no life insurance he was denied due to years of yo-yo dieting due to his sever depression mainly because he was the only one who saw his daughter laying on her literal death bed. My dad passed away and it leaves a huge void. We feel it but you can see it in the girls. Mentally, emotional, and physically they are not able to just move on. As being the one taking responsibility for them I too cannot move forward. Everyone else is done, guilty verdict, old news, job well done I you speak to the Prosecutor's office. Unfortunately, they disregard and ignore what the cost of negligence to conduct a timely and accurate investigation is. The negligence may be seen if you look at the girls. Good days and bad days it doesn't matter. They carry their trauma with them. Being the responsible adult for them I have to manage it daily.
Thank you to law enforcement for your negligence you made a traumatic difference in two girls lives and I hope you are proud and enjoy your pensions.
Amaysing Thoughts
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