I was struggling. Struggling to find answers. In the medical world you gather information such as signs and symptoms, test results and other data. All that information leads to finding a diagnosis for your issue. This I comprehend. I love science and when I graduated high school I went to Mott Community College for 5 years attempting to obtain Associate's of Applied Science and becoming a Registered Nurse. As stated previous, I have anxiety and my test anxiety is horrible. I was unable to continue with the nursing program by 1.8% the first time. I then took whatever classes they required and my second attempt more than a year later resulted in my inability continue by 1.1%. I received an overall grade of 78.9% and I needed an 80% to continue. Knowing my two labs and clinical were all three passing with flying colors but the only grade that went towards the percentage was the lecture which consisted of a MidTerm and a Final. So the average of two test scores for someone with test anxiety can be the difference between a nurse and a mortgage auditor.
That being said, I still love science and medical world it is something I am interested in and understand. I could not understand how medically speaking my sister did not wake up. I worked with someone at the movie theater who had passed away in his sleep. He went to Cedar Point, sn amusement park in Ohio, and rode roller coasters for the first time. When he returned home he went to sleep and his brother heard him coughing through the night. By morning he had passed away. His brother did not know his coughing was a result of his lungs filling with fluid. No one in his family even himself were aware he had an enlarged heart. The stress of the roller coasters were too much for his heart to handle and he went into heart failure causing his lungs to fill with fluid.
I knew my sister didn't have the same issue simply because she loved roller coasters and the thrill they provided her. I knew she was four months post-partum. The normal window from complications are within 3 months post-partum. This was her second c-section. The first she had complications. Her incision site on the outside healed so you would think that is a good thing. Then in the very center of the line she noticed something. She thought it was a pimple. She scratched it to discover infection. She ended up going to her doctor to find underneath the entire incision line there was a tunnel of infection. The doctor determined instead of reopening her incision, removing the infection and reclosing the wound to heal again he would only open the incision line roughly 1 inch. Then she would need to have medicated gauze packed into her wound daily as it slowly healed. The important part was the inch had to stay open during this process. My sister did not trust her husband to do this for her. She instead asked if I would do this. I would do anything for my sisters so I went in learned the process from the wound care clinic and then it began. I saw my sister everyday which also meant I saw her first born everyday and my brother-in-law everyday. I literally stuck a stick to the medicated gauze throughout the incision line without hurting her and being very mindful to keep a clean surface. She healed slowly and it was over six months of the process. By then the baby was attached to me and I her and so I maintained my daily visits. It gave my sister a break so she could get things done and know the baby was in good hands. Her scar tissue was extensive not because of me but because of the process in general. I knew her most recent c-section the doctor removed that scar tissue and corrected any issues she had due the first c-section. She healed so well after the new baby that I knew it was not a post-partum issue.
My sister was diagnosed as bi-polar but she was never... I mean NEVER suicidal. Her lows were depression but never with an intent to end her life. She had a relationship when she was late teens/ early twentys. That relationship was unhealthy and there was a lot of manipulation which resulted in mental health hospitalization. Those situations were not because she was going to do something to herself but rather her manipulation to obtain access to him. Once she was out of that relationship nothing like that happened again. We never even discussed that situation the rest of her life simply because it was a not worth mentioning ever again. We all knew it was not true intent. I knew my sister would never do anything to herself. Especially since she had her baby girls. She would never leave them
So I had ruled out post-partum and suicide. I knew she did not have extenuating medical condition that would warrant not waking up. Her doctors appointments had all been good. So what could cause this? What are the signs and symptoms I am not thinking about?
Sitting in the room with my closest family and friends I posed the question on my mind. I had been searching for the answer since my dad called me at work that morning.
I asked "What is everyones conspiracy theory?" My mom was the first to respond. She said, "I think he did something to her." Others started chiming in agreeing and elaborating thoughts.
My brain was swimming... I was expecting ideas that would increase my signs and symptoms to help lead me to a diagnosis. Are they seriously implying there is no medical cause of death but rather something done to her to cause the medical issue resulting in death. As my mind was swimming I know the conversations in the room were continuing without my attention being on them. This is when I felt the nudge. The nudge of my best friend taking me out of my thoughts and bring me back to the room.
Then my best friend said, "Well since we are talking conspiracies I guess I should bring this up." You see my best friend and I are mirrored families. We are both the middle of three girls. Our older sisters graduated together and our younger sisters graduated together. The difference is she is a year older than me. We have this common bond because the sister dynamic is so similar. She does have the rebellious nature my older sister has and I do have some tendencies of her older sister but for the most part we are best friends because we get each other to our core.
She said she told her sister and her sister sent out a message to her church prayer circle. It had gotten back to her sister that someone said their granddaughter knew my sister and said she thinks her husband did it and doesn't know if she should go to police. We all started to break down the specifics and determined that it was my brother-in-law's sister's girlfriend that was the granddaughter.
Now we have someone on his side of the family saying he had something to do with her death and my mom along with everyone else in this room thinking it also. I have been focused of medical diagnoses all day. I still wish I could see her face something was nagging me all day that if I saw her face it would answer my questions.
It was the rooms consensus that mom and dad would need to go to the police with this as soon as possible. Mom was nervous though simply because who wants to go to the police and say their child had died and her husband is who we believe is the reason for it. My mom was asked to go to the funeral home the next morning but didn't have a time. We also knew we had flowers and other arrangements. The group of us ended the conversation with mom and dad would be going to police but when was still to be determined.
Throughout the day I had recieved numerous calls. I was also making calls. I had reached out to my sister best friend whom I didn't know personally. She didn't live close but I knew I should speak with her even if my brother-in-law thought to first. My phone was ringing and it was her so I excused myself and walked outside for some fresh air. This was going to be a tough thing to do but when she started talking my brain was instantly swimming once again...
To be continued.
aMAYSing Thoughts
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