Our Family's Foundation

Every relationship has a foundation, the support in which holds it up.  The foundation is what is constructed first.  My families foundation is what makes us who we are and why we are as close as we are.  I know people who know me will eye roll because when explaining anything I start from the beginning but it is my process.  To understand this situation in its entirety I must start from the bottom up.

We moved 5 states in the first 10 years of my life.  I was the first of my sisters to start a school and finish all the grades in that school without having it disrupted by a move.  That school was Davison Middle School.  I started Kindergarten in Indiana, finished in North Carolina, started 2nd grade in North Carolina finished in Missouri, started fifth grade in Missouri and finished in Davison, Michigan. Both of my sister's and I graduated from Davison High School.

The moves were strategic for my dad's employment but caused the three of us girls to leave behind our whole social network and start from scratch every time. When you don't know anyone you spend a lot of time playing, arguing, laughing, and understanding your siblings.  This established a close bond that many don't experience because they have their friends and social network to distract them on a regular basis.  We relied on our parents and they were the only grown ups we knew everywhere we were.  The five of us were the only constants we had.

As a kid, the moves felt like we were told and the next thing we knew a sign was in our yard. Software is a fast moving environment.  I specifically remember our move from Missouri to Michigan where I went to school Friday in Missouri and Monday morning I was walking into a school in Michigan full of strangers hoping someone would be nice and I could make a friend.  

That first day walking into Hill Elementary school in Davison was anxiety overload.  Mrs. Kendall was not prepared for me so my desk was set directly next to hers away from everyone else.  This just added to my feelings of anxiety as I sat alone.  It did not help that Davison had over crowding issues so my entire neighborhood went to Gates Elementary leaving me the only one to have to take two buses to and from school because I had to attend Hill Elementary.  This meant I literally didn't know anyone in my neighborhood because I only saw them on the bus and I didn't live near anyone I was in school with.  Talk about a warm welcome.

In every state we lived I dreaded days like "Grandparents Day".  I was jealous of the people who had Grandparents who lived close enough come to school.  I also was jealous of others that the teacher would comment having taught the older sibling or parent.  Davison is the definition of a generational community.  Davison was extremely difficult to feel acceptance in.  Even when I did get to the high school no one knew I who I was because my big sister had a different last name.  Connections would be made usually around Parent/Teacher conferences because they would recognize my parents. It was also difficult to be a the little sister of a genius.  Literally, my big sister had a math brain I could never comprehend and while I tried hard I could never be as intellectual as her.  I also had my little sister coming up behind me so I felt the pressure to set a good example.  I didn't want her to have issues because I knew that she was way smarted than me too.  I was more of the honors classes with B average type of student not the straight A's.  The moves affected placement in classes everywhere we went.  I am not a test taker.  So basing placement on standardized tests, or assumptions of other states curriculum made finding our place in school more difficult.  

When I think of my parents grew up across the street from each other before my mom moved to Kearsley School District.   It does not seem real to me.  They have a network that now is multi-generational which all started in the Eastside of Flint.  Those families have branched out to the surrounding areas of Flint.  My parents can go anywhere and it seems they know someone.  

I have memories and friendships in five states that is completely one sided.  I don't know if I am remembered.  I don't know if we were just a blip of time that is forgotten, yet, I remember it all.  I remember Tripper in Florida, the old couple in Indiana that had a granddaughter I got to play with sometimes, Susan /Megan B/Megan S/Damon in North Carolina, and Amanda/Carlye/Christopher/Eric/David (the boy who went to Space Camp) in Missouri.  These people hold places in my memories but I have no idea if they remember me or my family.  

My memories are enhanced by the photo albums and home videos that my mom captured throughout the years.  We have almost every aspect of our lives captured to reminisce about or recall later.  I say "enhanced" because my memory is pretty much on point.  My Auntie Marilyn said memory is a Hooper thing.  I can quote a movie after watching it one time, books I struggle re-reading because I memorize them when I read them the first time, and conversations can be played back in my head like a video and I can recite it verbatim.  My husband LOVES my memory... sarcasm.  

My family of five has a foundation the relies heavily on the five of us alone.  We had to communicate with each other even when we did not want to... we only had each other.  You couldn't hold on to grudges because who else were you going to play with?  If you ignored you sister's who were you going to talk to?  We traveled everywhere in our Chevrolet Astro Mini-Van so drives were long when traveling to Michigan or "Home" where ever that was at the time.  The five of us shared hotel rooms, the van, the house, everything so we had to be willing to let go of the small stuff and move on.  Michigan was probably the toughest move because we were "home."  We had my Grandparents, Uncle, and extended family close.  We had people and were able to establish friendships that could last.  

Michigan did not change our foundation.  If we are mad at each other it doesn't mean we aren't talking.  Before cell phones and after we talk daily.  We are in constant communication with each other.  My sisters were eight years apart but we have been close enough to say the same thing at the same time like twins.  I could do this with both of my sisters.  It is funny to me that we can even do it via messaging selecting send at the same time with the same thing being said.

Foundation of any relationship speaks volumes.  My family's foundation is constructed on the five of us relying on each other for everything and supporting each other no matter where we are.  From Michigan to Florida to Indiana to North Carolina to Missouri to Michigan... even Heaven and Earth.

aMAYSing Thoughts.