What is Enough?
There are levels of enough but as far as I know enough is determined individually.
Is anything ever Good Enough? Things are ever changing so the bar is moved continously. What was enough yesterday has a different standard and higher expectation today.
I am in the picture isn't that Enough? Was the expectation that I smile, causing this picture to be Not Good Enough?
Why put so much weight on enough? I spent 16 years hearing, "Nothing I ever do is good enough." This argument usually meant "I didn't do whatever task because you wouldn't have approved of it anyway." It was often some house chore like "dishes."
Let's think about this simple task.
I was taught dishes included collecting everything from the common areas, hand rinsing, loading dish washer, hand clean what could not go in dish washer, dry dishes, put away, clean all counters, and stove top. If the counters were bad aka salt spill or something you better add sweep to that list. It was ok to leave dishwasher running but you should try to remember to empty it because that is part of "dishes".
The other definition for "dishes" was what was in the sink. It did not have to include the counters or stove top dishes. Just what was in the sink, right side empty, left side full and left to "dry"... task complete dishes done.
These are two very different takes on the same task. One could argue I was not asking for dishes to be done but rather to clean the whole kitchen. Now I won't go through how that is totally not cleaning the kitchen as that includes emptying fridge, scrubbing everything, and is a whole different level of cleaning.
So based on the two differing definitions what is enough? Well in my mind if the pan on the stove is what I need to cook dinner and it wasn't in the sink then that is an issue. Also, if there are too many things on the 5 ft of counter space I have broken up to 2 ft space and 3 ft space then that is an issue. If I asked for the dishes to be done so I could cook dinner when I was done working and this is what I get was it enough? My answer is, No. The argument is, according to the second definition the task was complete so my expectations are too high.
Enough has no set boundary it is variable and based on the individual.
If I let not "Good Enough" stop me I would not have swam for 12 years or tried out for Junior Olympics. When I joined the middle school team my technique and skill would have had me as the fastest on the team. My genetics and liver disease (things outside of my control) prevented that. In the world of swimming, weight equals drag and drag means less streamline meaning more resistance that must be overcome to finish the race. I wasn't "Good Enough" for 1st place. I wasn't headed to the Olympics. So why continue swimming?
The answer is easy because I loved it more than my self-consciousness regarding my weight. The water was my safe place where I controlled myself and measured it with time. I was not a 1st place Swimmer but for being the "chubbiest" girl on the team the fact I was a 4-5 place finisher not often last and sometimes 3rd meant this chubby girl had enough muscle hidden beneath the surface to pull her ass through that water to over come the excess resistance from the drag to finish earning team points. Now if you make that same girl the average weight of every girl on that pool deck she would have been the first place finisher without fail.
If I were to have done things based on "Good Enough" I would not have swam 12 consecutive years and cherished it so much.
Enough is settling... but it is defined by each of us. We determine what we will accept or not. None of us are ever going to achieve enough cause the measure for it can be move up at any time. What was good enough today is baseline tomorrow and the bar is set with higher expectations.
I don't base my decisions on Enough. It would have prevented me for doing so many things. I look at what the necessities are and if I know I can't do something to the standard I prefer I determine the bare minimum and aim just above that.
We can all improve and we can all be tired and just cannot meet the expectation. It shouldn't prevent us trying or accepting the person who genuinely is trying. Open communication and love can make any level of accomplishment Enough if you want it to be.
Setting standards is great but meet the person where their at and if you love them then everything is Enough.
Amaysing Thoughts
