Controlling the narrative. If you are working for justice you must understand there are those only seeking to have their efforts viewed in a specific way.
I find it interesting in an election year he wants to remind everyone of the family. He states she left behind her grieving family. We have not grieved how can you grieve when so much is left unsaid? How can I mourn a loss when I am focused on maintaining employment and wishing I could just win the lottery so my parents can retire, my sister's student loans can be paid off, and my debts paid so I can stop fretting about it so I can focus on what really matters.... my family.
As a family we have had options to take our story "public" regarding our initial issues with law enforcement and prosecutors lack of efforts. We were told by so many people from the start to contact media and that would help push our efforts forward.
The biggest thing people were not considering when providing this advice is the safety of my nieces. We are talking about the fact my brother-in-law killed my sister so how far fetched is it to believe my nieces lives were in jeopardy. Especially when my eldest niece is a mixture of my mother and her mother combined.
When my sister died my brother-in-law became the sole parent. I will touch base on this in more detail in a future blog. I sought out an attorney within two weeks of my sister's death to find out how to ensure the safety of my nieces how to carry out her wishes. I did this specifically with the focus of in the event my brother-in-law were to be arrested. Based on that meeting we knew we had to work quietly in order to ensure their safety.
Media can can be a useful tool to use to your benefit or it can work against you. Since my brother-in-law had my nieces protecting them from someone who potentially killed my sister was the highest priority. We worked to provide law enforcement anything we could find and all information we could to help them. We did this efficiently in order to make sure we were not holding up the process.
When it took five years for an arrest and we were again told to keep quiet until after trial. Covid caused that process to take two additional years. Then after trial we were instructed not to speak because he has a right to appeal. Is it really about protecting the cases outcome to ensure his three life sentences are not overturned? Or is it about controlling the narrative to have the story told the way you want it to be told?
Prosecutor posted this today...
I also find it interesting he states this has been highly publicized from the beginning. In the five years we did not make public to protect the girls we struggled for our voice to be heard. We were ignored and classified as a nuisance. We were type cast as being unable to "let it go". Told by so many that we needed to "get over it."
From the time my sister died to the day my brother-in-law was arrested my family dealt with the following hardships:
- Law Enforcement ignoring us.
- Prosecutor ignoring us.
- All levels of government from Local to State to Federal ignoring us.
- My mom transitioned jobs.
- I was let go from my job, "since your sister died you are not the same person."
- My dad lost his job.
- My little sister lost her job.
- We gathered information filing for grand parenting time and lost. (We did not divulge that there was a case regarding my sister's death)
- We gathered information and won the Wrongful Death suit yet no funds from settlement awarded was ever received.
- We spent first 2.5 years having my nieces and my brother-in-law's new girlfriend's daughter almost ever weekend.
- Sent numerous emails to anyone within every level of government seeking assistance.
- Having case transferred from local jurisdiction to Michigan State Police and having a total of 4 different detectives "work" the case.
- Sought out attorneys for them to decline our request.
Our hardships are not unique but for our family it has been long tough seven years to get to sentencing. There were lulls between employment when we lost our jobs that took its financial tolls on us. All but we continued to work towards our goal to protect my nieces and obtain justice for my sister.
Controlling the narrative isn't just about telling us not to speak while you shout what a fantastic job your department did. Controlling the narrative also means highlighting breast milk in the freezer saying it was discovered five years after death. The fact is we had been very vocal about the breast milk evidence. We saved it. Samples were obtained by local law enforcement within six months of her death. State police were unaware of the evidence previously obtained. They thought they were the first to request it. When we say there is an issue with investigation from the beginning it isn't because we lacked the evidence and were upset the case became "cold". No, we really mean there was a problem and no one was stepping in to correct it. The case did not need to take five years. I sat through the whole trial and learned nothing new.... not a thing. This means all information used to convict him was available to them within 3 months of her death.
Controlling the narrative allows you to hide all of the facts and point out the minute details you want highlighted to retell the truth in you best light.
I have anxiety over the ABC 2020 Fatal Flaw episode that will air. I was warned that as a general rule ABC is pro-law enforcement.
I want to be clear... I am not Anti-Law Enforcement. I have worked side by side with undercover officers who I trusted with my life. I appreciate their efforts and those men and women who take their path to serve and protect to heart I appreciate every day.
I am aware that in ever position there are those who do not have the proper training and even those who end up in careers that can be put in positions they have no business being in. My sister's case is the perfect example of local law enforcement lack of experience, training, and unwillingness to ask for help. Unfortunately, it is also the example of inability to admit faults, unwillingness to apologize and simply lack of effort to protect and serve.
The way to cover up all the flaws is to Control the Narrative and further traumatize the family who are "grieving" by continuing to silence them which does not allow for closure.
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